i havent been updating at all for the past few weeks.. i guess when u grow up n get busy with work n all the relationships in ur life, it just feels like 24 hour a day is not enough. So many things happened, i got into another serious talk with him, i had the first ever disagreement with my friend n that is my working buddy, too much family matters as usual, and alot of hidden stuffs that i do not wish to talk about.

I know i am dedicated to my job. I expect a perfect work from myself, and so there's a serious big flaw in me. I expect those as qualified as me to deliver quality at work. I am not afraid to say it out bcos I and Rebec talked about these issues before. She's the kind of person that gets really affected by her mood. Once she is moody, her working efficiency drops n everyone around gets a pinch of her attitude. We are quite close so i really dont wish to see her get into trouble. Every time she is moody, i will try to bring her up. So u see as time goes by, i get really tired till a day i flare up. We both cried but out of each other's sight. I cried in the comfort of ah meow. He spoke to me n said he knew i was mature enough, i need to talk to her n make her realise wat she was doing.
I did, we spoke and things turned out well. I explained that in the working world, no matter how troubled u are, u should nv bring them to ur work place. Of cos, whenever she has troubles, i will still be there for her.

My family matters are forever unsolvable. I came to a point where by i really cannot be bothered by it. Of cos i will still be by my mom's side. But i will still nv forgive my dad. As for my brother, he has a gf ! Finally. BUT, pardon me for saying this, i dont really like her. The first time she came over, she stayed over without informing us. Not a good start. During dinner, my mom kept asking her to eat. She kept saying no like a small kid, and started to eat the mac my bro bought. Great.. Anyway, i dont think i will see her often. The first impression she gave us was quite bad.

n Regarding Lucas. Last sat we went momo together with our friends. I saw the way the tequila girl flirted her way thru to get him to buy her shots. Out of no where, all the past just came flashing back. I know i am sensitive, i am trying hard not to be. I still feel so unjust, bcos till today i dont know the whole truth. I only know he has been fooling around. Yes, we talked but nv abt wat exactly happened. He just promised there wont be a next time. I know, i can feel it, he's changed. I know now he's willing to give all his best to make me happy. But then again, my heart was dying to know wat exactly did he do. Although many said its better not to know the truth, but i always believed that only honest relationships stand through time.

We talked below his house afterwards, for so long, and yet he still refused to tell mi the truth, saying there is really nothing going on between him and this particular girl, S. Until i was really devastated, i scolded him real bad. I gave him a choice, either he tell mi the whole story now or i am really prepared to walk out on him immediately. I was really shocked about wat i heard. Though, she was the one who fell for him, he indirectly caused her to sink into it. I told him off, he was acting like a true bastard n tt girl is married. Ya, technically, he didnt do anything wrong bcos he was just comforting her as she was having problems in her marriage. But all the physical contacts were really not needed, i told him. S also had another guy she was quite attached to in the same group. And so, when Lucas came into the picture, tt guy was quite pissed off with him. A really complicating affair, I dont know the girl well, but i really dont like her. I dont like peopke with who treats marriage like a toy, i told him to choose his friends wisely.

Some how, the conversation turned around and he said he was hurt bcos i once said that there are other guys treating me better than him, which was true at tt time, bcos all the promises he made to me was unfulfilled. I told him i did not have the intention of comparing him to them. But i just want to wake his idea that i can just walk out on him with another guy, I did not. I just want him to cherish this relationship more.

I am so guilty, i made him cried. He just collapsed into my arms and cried real hard. It was the first time he cried so badly. But, we promised that there should not be any dishonesty between us n so it was a happy ending after all.